GUARANTEED no elves and hardly any violence. Or incest

Stob  Laud Satya Nadella stood at the leaded casement of his garret, contemplating the ominous, brooding sky to the south. The flag over the Maeiouster’s Hub Complex barely stirred in the still air, so that he could not only see the sigil of his once-proud house – gules and vert oblongs accroupis sur a respectant brace, azure dexter and jaune sinister, of quatrocons, conjoined to the Mark of Registered Trade – but also make out the motto VENIT FENESTRAE (which, as everybody knows, is Old Visbasian for “Windows is coming”) proudly emblazoned in the finest, most delicate Comic Sans that the T-shirt weavers of Old Redmond could fashion.…